This tumblr page is associated with my primary website: http://AsexualSexologist.com . Here I will quote some of the answers I've collected from my asexual survey takers (with their permission). it's important to recognize the variety of perspectives within the asexual community and I hope that juxtaposing the answers I have collected will help people (particularly those who are not part of the ace community) do that.
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Whoops, the orange slice is supposed to be labeled “No, not necessarily”
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–“with time I hope to be able to say ‘asexual’ without having to explain, but I understand that LGB people who’ve had their sexuality so rejected and despised would have a negative reaction to what they misinterpret as someone being ‘anti-sex.’ “ - #208
“I’m always wary on if [LGBT+++ communities will] accept me. I know some groups accept aces, and some don’t and that seems to depend on who is leading them or who you talk to. I always ask each group before I talk to them to make sure, so I know I’m safe there and accepted. But I’m still cautious about going to a lot of LGBT things because of it. “ and also “I’d want them to stop trying to split us up according to romantic orientation, to talk about us more and mention us especially if we’re welcome in that space so we don’t feel like we have to stand out and make ourselves vulnerable in order to find out.” - Neth Dugan
“I think the relationship between the asexual community and the LGBT community is very much like the relationship between the asexual community and every other community. Which is to say that the asexual community is mostly invisible. Though a level of awareness of ace issues is not unheard of in a lot of communities, they still get overlooked a lot of the time.” - D.F. Savage
“[I would like to see] better awareness within the LGBT community about Asexuals and the problems we face. (I.e., just because you don’t hear about asexual directed oppression and violence on the news doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.)” - anonymous
“I would like to get more involved with the community, but I’d also like for asexuality to get more visibility so I don’t feel like I’m kind of intruding.” - anonymous
“I’d like it if more LGBT people knew who asexuals were and what we were about, even if that ultimately didn’t change their minds on whether or not we’re ‘[criteria] enough’ to be allowed into their spaces. […] the single most disheartening thing [about a particularly virulent attack of the ace community by members of the LGBT community that happened on tumblr] has been that the vast majority of the arguments against asexuals have either been based on false assumptions and stereotypes, or not even about asexuality at all.” - AceAdmiral
“I like my current relationship with the LGBTQA community. I’d really like it if people would recognize that asexuality exists and, even just due to the fact that so many people don’t believe it exists, asexual are subject to many similar experiences.” - Puck
“The LGBT community needs to be more inclusive. Several members of the LGBT community I’ve interacted with completely discount asexuals, genderqueers etc (sometimes even bisexuals). I wish more people would understand that asexuals are different too, and we struggle, too.” - anonymous
“[I] would like the ones who are screaming about how my identity is inherently slut-shaming and how I am totally straight (…the hell?) because I’m not bi/pan/homoromantic to actually sit down, shut up, and listen to what I’m actuallying saying about my orientation. Mostly I’d just like more of the little subcommunities to engage in a dialogue and speak to one another and LISTEN, properly. On both sides, but I see asexual listening, mostly, it’s the non-asexual queer people I see making assumptions and not listening in these situations.” - anonymous
“I’d like [the LGBT community] to try to step back and see queerness as an umbrella term and refrain from trying to dictate who has to stand in the rain. I’d also prefer that if they want to engage us, even if they want to disagree with us, they don’t spread misinformation about what asexuality is. Most of the attacks I’ve seen on asexuality have involved broad misconceptions of the orientation, mainly as either understanding it as celibacy (a choice) or understanding it as a synonym for a straight person who isn’t having sex. Since asexuals are often isolated from each other and probably wouldn’t have the numbers for support groups on our own, it would be nice if they’d focus on being inclusive rather than exclusive.” - Swank Ivy
From my survey about aces and the LGBT Community. These are answers to the question asking people about their own involvement with the LGBT+++ community as well as their feeling about the way the ace and LGBT+++ communities interact.
I had 208 responses, 149 responders identified as ace, 82 responders identified as falling under the LGBT+ umbrella - these responses are all taken from that portion of responders.
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–“someone who does not experience sexual attraction”
“Demiromantic”
“Defining “sexual orientation” as “who you’re attracted to in a would-have-sex-with way,” I’m asexual. Defining “sexual orientation” as “who you’re attracted to physically or can visualize in any kind of intimate relationship,” I’m bisexual. The defining characteristic in my pattern of attraction, however, is clearly sadomasochism, so to the exten that SM is an orientation I identify as submissive. That would be the identification most important to me.”
“I choose queer as my label.”
“pansexual was the term I was using before I learned the asexual term … been with both gender’s could care less for either gender, to me its the person not the gender that i have my attraction to.”
“Asexual (non-libidoist)”
“Tend to identify as asexual because I honestly find ridiculous how people want to categorize every little difference from the others in them. I don’t experience sexual attraction than I am asexual, if I experienced sexual attraction I would consider myself sexual even if it came as a consequence of romantic attraction.”
“would be gray-a but more on the ace side than the demi side. hope that makes sense. (i don’t really like labels though. my sexuality is so low on my system that i won’t let it be part of my identity)”
“dispersed”
“Aromanitc Asexual but not too sure about the first part”
“I tend to just think of myself as asexual, rather than gray-a or demi, despite the fact that I’m probably closer to one of those. I feel that the gray-a definition isn’t strict enough to define what I feel that I am, but straight up asexual is a bit too strict.”
“Don’t have a lot of love for labels. But asexual works for my purposes”
“I use queer mostly because there is more knowladge about it ( and saying I’m ace could cause contradictions)”
Responses to this question: “Please tell me what ONE label you most identify with as it related to your sexual orientation.” from my March Survey, “Asexual Sexuality”
Note: This is not meant to be a representative sample. At the time of posting I have collected 76 responses, these are just my favorite.
Source: surveymonkey.com
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–“I still identify as heterosexual but I’ve been finding that I don’t quite fit that label. So I’ve been looking around the Web and a lot of definitions that I’ve found of asexuality really seem to fit me.”
“I suppose you could call me a grey-a homoromantic, if that can be used as a label? I’m really new to all the terms, and I’m not sure if we can just collaborate them at will or if there’s a procedure to follow.”
“More unsexual. Is that a thing? Well, it is now. Although even that is not particularly accurate. Maybe notsexual. Except that I am. Often.”
“I hate the word “asexual” as a means of defining sexuality. (As a biologist, I’d rather reserve the word “asexual” to describe the kind of reproduction that doesn’t involve genetic recombination.) My issue, though, is only with the word choice. I do consider myself to be a member of the group that has chosen to accept the “asexual” label for itself.”
“I identify myself as “at least functionally asexual,” meaning that I can find people aesthetically pleasing and even personally attractive, but I still have no desire to see them with their clothes off.”
“Yes, mostly, though I could just be messed up”
“99% asexual, though I don’t know myself well enough to know for sure.”
“Yes, at the moment I identify as gray-A since I have never been in a romantic relationship and therefore do not know for sure whether I am asexual or demisexual.”
“Usually I just think of myself as asexual, but I think grey-a is more accurate. I may be demisexual, but I don’t know.”
Responses to the question “Do you identify as asexual or a variation there of (ie gray-a, demisexual, etc)?” from my March Survey “Ace Sexuality”
Note: This is not necessarily a representative sample, at the time of this post I have collected 76 responses, these were just the answers I found the most interesting (most of the others were one-word).
Source: surveymonkey.com
